New Years Resolutions

New Year’s resolutions are the main topic around this time of year. We see this time as a way to start clean to hit a new goal. Whether it is a health, spiritual, financial, or personal goal. But what we don’t realize is that not a lot changes from year to year and majority of us fail at most of them.

The reason why I think that is, is because we underestimate how much it really takes to change an unhealthy habit. We normally get started on these things we want for the new year, but once we see that it is not happening right away, we give up for a while, sometimes completely.

dear self new yearSo instead of creating the same resolutions you set every year, come up with some alternatives that can help you start your healthy lifestyle and keep it permanently.

Instead of saying something like, “I will start doing 100 sit ups a day” or “I will do the plank/squat challenge”, say “I will incorporate more ab exercises and cardio into my workouts.” Don’t say “I will exercise every day”, instead say “I will move every day” or “I will exercise 3-5 times a week”.

Why is that? Doing sit ups won’t make you skinny, it won’t make you lose belly fat. Plus, you don’t become fit by working out every single day. You become fit by finding a balance between work and rest. Exercising every day can actually make you weaker because it break down your body. Resting will help your body recover itself and get ready for the next time it is challenged.

Also, don’t say “I will stop eating unhealthy food” because you don’t want to restrict yourself some food, because this will more likely drive you to fall faster and harder than before. Instead, say something like “I will eat a balanced diet with room for treats with moderation.” And don’t use the word “cheat” because it suggests that what you’re doing is wrong, when it’s not.

So take some time to think about what you really want to accomplish this new year, and the reason why. Will it make you happy once you achieve it? If not, don’t waste your time on it. If you really do want to change your lifestyle, be realistic with your goals, and focus on finding things that will make this shift a lot easier. Most importantly, take care of yourself.

Be happy with what you have but work

Here are some few tips that can actually help you stay committed and consistent with your goals:

  • Write them down. If you write them down or see a picture of it daily, it will make it easier for you to remember it.
  • Visualize yourself at your goal. How would you feel if you were already there? If you already had that thing you wanted? Think about it constantly.
  • Look at the bigger picture. Don’t let the little things distract you. The doubters, self doubt, temptation, don’t let it stop you.
  • Be grateful for your support system. Get rid of any people who are toxic and bringing you down. If they are not supportive of your goal, they don’t need to be a part of your life. Be grateful for those who do.
  • If you make a mistake, it’s ok. We all screw up once in a while. It is ok. The world won’t end, life goes on. Just pick the pieces back up and keep it going.

You won’t be perfect, you have to realize that. But don’t give up. Continue to work hard on your goals until… no ifs or buts. Demolish your goals. I hope these tips can help you a bit, they have definitely helped me in the last few years.  I hope that you achieve everything you want in life and that you live the life you so deserve.

Good luck!

Happy early New Year!!

this is your year

What is your worth?

Sooooo, the other day I was listening to a Podcast where the main topic called my attention, so obviously I am going to share with you guys. It spoke about how we determine our self-worth based on other people’s bodies or lives.

I’m not sure how many times I have mentioned that the power of our thinking has a lot to do with the way we live our lives, because life is lived from the inside out. We create our own self-worth based on how we see and speak to ourselves.

Self reflection.jpgMost of the time we measure our worth based on other people’s looks or achievements. There are tons of fitness models out there, with different body types, workout plans and meal plans. But something we need to realize is that most of these people have gone through a specific process, customized to their goal and body, to get to where they are. Some of these people train specifically for this photo shoot that we see on Instagram. There’s an extensive process that they have to go through to get to this level. 

I mentioned on my last post, Be The Best Version of Yourself, how I used to look up to other fitness models as my Body Goal, but I have realized that you have to set achievable goals based on your current status. Yes! Definitely look up to those women as a motivation, but never as your goal. Am I making sense? Set realistic goals while still having a bigger picture in mind.

There is a lot of work that goes behind most of those pictures we see. We tend to buy into this lie because this has become something that we see on a daily basis, which makes us start thinking, “Wow, look how perfect their body is, how happy they must be”, etc. When in reality, these people don’t look like that ALL the time. Again, you have to do a lot to get there, and it also takes a lot to maintain it.

It’s not something that is impossible to achieve, but understand that everyone has their own process, their own journey.

When we look at those people we usually think that they must be super popular, that they deserve more things than we do, we give them more value than we give ourselves. We then think, “wow she doesn’t have cellulite like me, she doesn’t have love handles”. Listen, you don’t know if those pictures are photoshopped, which they probably are. Whatever you’re thinking when you see these people, you need to stop it.Love yourself. Worth Spectrum

For all we know, these people go through dehydration and extreme dieting to get there. Is that really what you want? The goal should always be to be healthy while achieving your goal, not to kill yourself for just a few extra pounds.

The way you look can’t change what your worth is. You should never allow it to. You can’t capture true beauty in just one picture anyways, so stop feeling bad about yourself. They probably took thousands of pictures to get that one perfect one, lol I speak from experience.

You see on someone’s Instagram what they want you to see.

Limit the amount of time you spend looking through social media. Stop comparing yourself. Again, use them as a motivation but always having yourself as your role model, becoming your best self. Concentrate on your own journey, your progress, the things that you are overcoming and the person you are now becoming.

Dont Doubt your worthYour value lies in being who you are. We are each unique, you can’t deny the fact that you were created with a purpose. You were created to be who you are and what you are.

So stop trying to be like those other people. You just have to love yourself and you are the one who determines your worth. Stop thinking that you have to look a certain way to be happy, that you need a specific job to be successful or respected.

What stays in your life is what you tolerate and what you celebrate. Meaning, if you celebrate you, and your body, versus hating it and comparing it to others, then that’s what you’ll continue to get.

What do you celebrate about yourself? Even if it’s the smallest thing. If you can’t find one thing, then you need to make major changes. Make a list if you need to.

Start appreciating and celebrating your body for how it is, what it does for you.

Don’t tolerate any negative thinking or things into your life. The more you tolerate these things, the more they will be in your life.

Confidence, self-worth, self-love, starts from the inside out. This is what gives you the courage to go for the things you want, gives you the energy to live your own life. But it all starts from within and the way you think about yourself, the way you speak to yourself about your body, your personality, your attributes, your worth.

self worthStop rating yourself based on what other people look like, stop rejecting yourself or tolerating negativity into your life, and start embracing self-love, accept yourself, allow for your confidence to grow, and you’ll see how your life is going to change.

Your worth is found in you being you. Everyday ask yourself, did I love myself and those around me? If the answer is yes, then that’s all you need.

Love yourself today and always. Love Life. Live life. To the fullest.

Anywhoooo, next time you’re shopping online, on Amazon, specially now for the holidays, make sure to do so using my link! It’s absolutely FREE for you, and you’ll be supporting this blog!

Have an amazing day my beauties.

 

 

Set Goals & Take Action

Hello my beauties.

The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. This is not about comparing yourself to others, thinking that you are better or worse than them; self love is about accepting, trusting and taking care of yourself.

As promised on my last post, How To Be More Confident, today I will be touching on the first tip I gave you, Set Goals & Take Action.

I used to be the type of person who would always come up with ideas of things to do, but never get into action. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big planner. I would always have a very detailed plan of what I was going to do, but for what? I would follow it for a few days and then drop it completely. I wasted tons of energy on planning. >.<

Throughout the years, as I continued to work on myself, I realized how going through with the plan can help with your confidence. Feeling like you have accomplished something, whether you got the results you wanted or not, brings your mood up. Why? Well, because you did it. You set your mind to it and you did it. Be dang proud of it. 

Confident

The most recent thing I recall is when I first decided to start blogging. It’s a bit funny actually, my sisters were starting their own, but I wanted no part of it so I chose to ignore everything they would say about it. Although that’s completely a “little sister” thing to do, ignore your big sisters, the real reason was because I never saw myself as someone that could write well. English is not my first language, therefore I felt a bit self conscious about it and always made that my excuse. I felt like people wouldn’t understand what I had to say. But one day I got tired of making up excuses, I set a goal, made a plan, and created my website and blog. Now here I am, and although I am not the best at writing, I love sharing these tips with you, and thank God I have received nothing but great feedback. Let me tell you, it feels great knowing that I actually went through with it and can now impact others with what I share.

Ok. So, how does this actually help? It is actually proven that when you write your goals down or when you constantly see a picture of what you want, you are more likely to remember it and work towards it. I personally started writing down my goals, keeping a calendar, and creating vision boards so that I can have all of my goals and plans in order. Here is the actual Planner I have been using for the past few years. It is very convenient for everything, I absolutely love it!

Few tips on setting goals and getting to work:

  1. Be as clear as possible, with dates and everything. Ex. I will have over 100 subscribers by the end of this year. 😉 **HINT HINT** This will keep you motivated and will push you to actually get to work, it will keep yourself accountable. The more detailed you are about this vision, the more confident you’ll feel about it.
  2. Set small goals as well as big ones. The big goals will paint the bigger picture, but can also overwhelm you. Breaking it down into smaller goals will make sure that you don’t get discouraged. The more small goals you achieve, the better you’ll feel. These will add up to a big accomplishment and you’ll be getting closer and closer to what you want.
  3. You also have to visualize yourself at your goal. How would you feel if you already had it? What will your life look like? How will it change? Feel as if you have already attained it, and think about it constantly. Picturing yourself at the finish line will lead you to a greater feeling of accomplishment and will prepare you for success.
  4. Now, don’t just write them down and think about how great you will feel once you have it; if you do, you’ll be making the same mistake I made. You have to get to work. How else will you actually get it?? Take out your to-do list and get to work. Do the biggest or hardest tasks early in the morning to get them out of the way. Right away you’ll feel better about yourself. Sitting at home and thinking about it will only make you feel worse.
  5. Keep your focus on the goal and be present. Take it serious but relax at the same time. You don’t want it to feel as something that you HAVE to do, but something that you WANT to do because you know what will come from it. With a lighter state of mind it will become a lot easier to work on things. Don’t force it.

Challenge yourself when you are setting these goals. Live your life with purpose. There’s not one time I can remember where I didn’t feel good after accomplishing a goal. If you continue setting goals and achieving them, you will start to develop a respect for yourself that nobody else can give you.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
Dale Carnegie

Ok. I want to do a little exercise with you now. In the comment section I want you to share these 3 things with me:

  1. One small goal you have. Be as detailed as you’d like. I will have over 100 subscribers by the end of this year. 
  2. How will you feel once you achieve it? and why? I will feel humbly proud (if that makes sense) of myself for inspiring others and knowing they relate to my story.
  3. What you will do to achieve it. I will continue to share my tips, hoping that more and more people continue to connect and get inspired.

Now you GO!

Until next time my cuties!

Happy

By the way, don’t forget to Join My Mailing List to continue getting updates on the How To Become More Confident series, to get your FREE PDF on a few extra Tips, and receive any updates on more free goodies and new products coming. Don’t forget to ask about my challenges, if you are looking to lose weight, gain muscle, join the Booty Challenge or the Confidence Challenge, whatever goal you have, just ask. 

Personal Development Book recommendations to help you grow your confidence:
The Secret
Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage
The Power of Positive Thinking

How to become more Confident.

Having low self-esteem and self-confidence makes it impossible to be yourself. I remember a few years back how one of my main wishes was to gain my confidence back because I was losing sense of who I was.

As I mentioned on my first post WHO AM I, I shared how not long ago I went through a rough break up that left me in a dark place. This relationship was all I cared about, I invested all of my energy into it and forgot who I was in the process. So the moment it ended I was completely lost. I felt like I didn’t know what I liked anymore, I had no purpose, I lost tons of friends because of it, I distanced myself from family, I had no desire to do anything, I was living day by day not knowing what I wanted from life.

Basically, I was in desperate need of gaining my confidence back. But how? I had no clue what to do. Some people may say, “Well, just be confident in yourself.” Yeah…. that’s easier said than done. There is no magical switch you can turn your confidence ON and OFF with. So that advice was not very helpful. At all.

At this point, I was starting a nutrition program with my sisters because I had gained a few pounds due to everything that I was going through. I am an extreme stress eater as you may have read on AVOID CRAVINGS. I was able to drop the pounds I needed to lose, and at the moment I felt like this helped me gain some confidence back, and although it did, it wasn’t what completely did it for me.

I remember I then went to this one event for the company I was doing the program with, and they spoke about something called Personal Development. This term was like a different language to me. Personal Development is positive things that you do/listen to/read/write/say on a daily basis that help you improve yourself. PD helps enhance the quality of your life. Now, I had listened to motivational videos before, but I never saw it as something to do on a daily basis to improve myself.

So, because I am a good student, and like I said I was in desperate need, I started doing my daily PD. Because if you don’t believe in yourself, then how can others believe in you? I listened to this book called The Secret and many others. Well, while reading these books, listening to the videos, I learned about different things that I can do to get my confidence back.

I will share briefly on here what these tips are, however, throughout the next few weeks, I want to go into more detail on each. Follow my blog so that you get the notification when I post about each tip. I will be concentrating on one tip per post, to help you really understand each one a bit more. I really hope you find something useful from this blog that helps you improve and maintain your own level of confidence.

I have also created a 30 Day Confidence Challenge that you could JOIN. It is completely FREE. Just contact me for more details.

Here they are:

  1. Set goals and Take action. Something I used to do all the time was come up with an idea or plan, but never do it. I would always over think it instead of acting on it. But actually getting it done helps you have that feeling of accomplishment and it boosts your confidence, even if it’s by a little bit.
  2. Face your fears. The way to develop confidence into something is by getting out of your comfort zone, facing your fears and doing it. Pushing through those self-limiting beliefs you have had since little. Doing things that scare you is where you’ll be able to build your confidence.
  3. Realize that not everything has to be perfect. Fear of failure can hold you back from doing what you want. You have to learn how to not let it be something that breaks you down, instead something you can grow from. This is important for the growth of your self-confidence and overall as a human being. 
  4. Get to know who you are. To build your confidence up, you have to get to know yourself better. When you know more about yourself and the things that you want out of life, you will have more confidence in what you do. Find your Me Time, whether that is reading a book, dancing to your favorite song, a long bath, working out, write. Find what you like to do, and do it for at least 30mins – an hour. Doing this will help you disconnect from the world for a few minutes, and will help you refocus and boost your mood.
  5. Surround yourself with like-minded people. Bringing yourself around people with a positive attitude and mindset will improve both your self-confidence and self-worth.
  6. Talk to yourself. Yes, I know. Fabely, are you crazy? Maybe a little, but this really does work. They are called Daily Affirmations. On a daily basis, stand in front of the mirror and say positive things to yourself. You may not believe it, but your body listens to what you say to it. Be kind to yourself.
  7. Change your mindset. Self confidence is a mindset that takes effort to maintain. It’s something that you need to master in order to change for the better. Believe in yourself in order to do it. Act the part.
  8. Crack a smile. Last but not least, smile. At everyone you see, at yourself. If there is one instant way to boost your confidence, it is by smiling.

This will of course take time. It may be an ongoing thing for your life. But get started now. Like I said, taking action is one of the things that will help you.

So I hope that you follow my blog and stick around each week to learn more about them, that you JOIN MY CHALLENGE, and actually start putting them into practice in your life. I will go into detail about each one, so that you implement one each week and see how it can help you improve yourself. Look at it as a weekly to do.

As this quote says, “When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.” If you have patience and perseverance, you are only steps away from a more confident you.

I will be doing this with you too. Let your girls know about this post. Let’s continue to build ourselves up, empower each other and become the beautiful Invincible Butterflies that we are.

By the way, next time you’re shopping on Amazon, be sure to use my link! Doing so is absolutely FREE for you, and a great way to support this blog!

Until next time my cuties!

Fabely

2017-09-22 18.32.47

 

Don’t forget to Join My Mailing List to continue getting updates on the How To Become More Confident series, to get your FREE PDF on a few extra Tips, and receive any updates on more free goodies and new products coming. Don’t forget to ask about my challenges, if you are looking to lose weight, gain muscle, join the Booty Challenge or the Confidence Challenge, whatever goal you have, just ask. 

Personal Development Book recommendations to help you grow your confidence:
The Secret
Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage
The Power of Positive Thinking

Are you being pulled back like an arrow?

Screen Shot 2017-09-17 at 11.20.05 PMSoooo….

Today I wanted to share a conversation that I was having with a friend not long ago. He was telling me about a situation that he was going through at work, where he failed at something that he desperately wanted to achieve, so he had to restart the process all the way from zero.

As the great friend that I am, I was giving him some advice to calm him down a bit. I felt like I had some experience since I went through similar things in this business. I went through situations where I either had to rebuild my whole organization and/or client base from scratch because of minor mistakes. But you see, many things in life are that way. You may start something you are passionate about, but then out of nowhere, one simple thing goes wrong and you have to start all over.

There is always a reason behind everything that happens to you in life. There is no coincidence in God’s world, only Godcidence. See, everything that you go through is already part of the plan that God (or whatever higher power you believe in) has in stores for you. Although it may not seem as pretty right now, there is always something so much bigger and better waiting for you. We just have to keep going until we get it. Sometimes we forget that and waste so much time and energy in complaining about the situation, and I say it because I do it too. Instead, we should invest that energy in pushing even harder, making moves, and put our faith in God that everything will get better, if it is part of the plan of course.

Many times throughout our journey, we feel we are taking steps backwards. No matter how hard we try, it just doesn’t seem like we are making any progress. Most of the time we are focused on concrete changes to validate whether we are reaching the goal; and when these things don’t happen we may begin to lose motivation. However, change is a process and many times there are major shifts energetically and internally that need to happen before we see a physical manifestation.

I don’t know who this message is for, if anybody is even reading this and getting something out of it. Who knows? maybe this is a message that I am writing for myself. But what I want you to understand is that, whatever it is, it is only a minor setback, something momentary. It doesn’t mean that you have to stop going and working for what you want.

Stop complaining about not being where you want to be in life. It takes years of dedication, hard work, consistency, failures, energy, sacrifices and effort to get to the top of whatever you are trying to get. There are no short cuts, and beating yourself up about a minor setback is only going to set you back even more.

Like the quote says, “Nobody said it would be easy. If it was easy, everyone would do it. It’s the hard that makes it great.” Things aren’t supposed to magically happen for you, to be all flowers and rainbows. You have to go through the downs to appreciate the ups. Yes, some people succeed on the first try, but if you do, you won’t appreciate the win and you may settle. Now, if you fall a couple of times and get back up even harder, you already know what being down feels like, so you’ll feel even better when you win. You learn to appreciate the win. You also learn that there is more, you don’t settle for that one win. Because if you tried different ways until you succeeded, then you know that there are different possibilities in which you can reach something. Makes sense? It shows you that you can continue pushing for more and that nothing can stop you.

But you have to dedicate yourself everyday to mastering your craft. You have to stay consistent, put in the work, stay dedicated, make the necessary sacrifices, and not give up. Stop comparing your journey to others. The only person you should compare yourself to is the old you. This is the only way in which you’ll be able to see how much progress you have made, how much you have grown.

Learn to grow through what you go through. You got this and you will get out of whatever situation it is that you are in. As long as you do your part and put your energy in the right bucket, then you are set. The more we, “the arrow,” get pulled back the harder we fight against it. Persistence and hard work do pay off. Keep building your foundation, staying present in the work you are doing, fall back on your tools if necessary so that when that arrow finally launches you are fully ready to receive all that you deserve!

Take a look at this book that helped me a lot in learning how to get myself out of these down moments and embracing the Badass that I am. This book helped increase my self esteem and motivation.

You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

GET OUT THERE && GO GET IT
#HappyFriday

Screen Shot 2017-09-08 at 7.10.56 PM

By the way, don’t forget to Join My Mailing List to get your FREE PDF on a few extra Tips, and receive any updates on more free goodies and new products coming. Don’t forget to ask about my challenges, if you are looking to lose weight, gain muscle, join the Booty Challenge or the Confidence Challenge, whatever goal you have, just ask. 

Personal Development Book recommendations to help you grow your confidence:
The Secret
Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage
The Power of Positive Thinking